Are You Sure?

This is addressed to pastors, like John Piper, and church folk who heap guilt and sit in judgment on women who report their husbands are nasty.  Are you sure your conclusions are correct? 

Are you aware the details she has told you are ONLY the tip of the iceberg?  Have you asked for the whole story?  I mean the WHOLE BIG STORY?  The one that will take her hours and hours to tell?  Do you have a real sense of what a day, a week, a month, a year is like for her? Do you know how often she cries?  Do you know how often she covers up with makeup the fact that she has been crying?  Have you asked yourself how hard it is for her to not break down in tears in church?  Have you considered why she keeps to herself? Why she acts strange at times? 

I think of Susan Greenfield's book "Would the Real Church PLEASE Stand Up!" where she tells us how weird she had to behave because her husband required it.  Have you considered that the things you are blaming on her, may actually be because of her husband? 

Have you considered that her husband is sinning against her daily?  Major sins, not minor ones.  Have you considered that her husband's life shows ZERO fruit of the Spirit at home?  (Even though he acts like a saint in public.) Do you care that her husband's behavior suggests he may NOT BE SAVED??  (Jesus said we'd know them by their fruit; my paraphrase.)

Are you aware that when her husband APPEARS to show the fruit of the Spirit, he is conning her? And conning you?   

Considering the misery he puts his family through, are you sure they will be able to stay faithful to God?  Are you willing to have that abused woman leave her husband and your church and take her children with her? 

Are you willing to be responsible before God for driving an oppressed woman and her children away?

Are you sure God tells husbands to take authority over their wives?  If so, list the verse(s). 

I repeat:  Are you SURE? 


Waneta Dawn is the author of "Behind the Hedge, A novel" See www.wanetadawn.com A Mennonite woman fights to save her family yet keep her faith.