Part 1, Who or What is responsible for the destruction of the family? Mis-assigning responsibility

Many church leaders declare that the break down of families began with the rise of feminism, specifically when women started going to work outside the home. Is this claim valid? How would women in the workplace have anything to do with the breakdown of the family?

One way is that their presence and close work association tempts men to commit adultery. In essence, the church leaders are blaming working women for the sin and weakness of men. This is one of those Adam claims, “The woman you put in the office with me did tempt me and I did sin.” However, Christian men know it is foolish to blame God, so they focus all the blame on women. Instead of saying “I must keep my pants up, I must keep my pants up, I love my wife, I wouldn’t do this to her, I love my wife, I wouldn’t put her through such pain and humiliation, this woman probably has habits I can’t stand, so I won’t go there,” men choose to pursue the pleasure of the moment and deal with the consequences later.

If we were to follow this logic through to its obvious conclusion, if women are to blame simply because they are in the presence of men who they are not married to or related to, we would have to agree that the Muslim men are correct when they make laws prohibiting women from going out of the house unless they have a male relative to escort them. Furthermore, if men are actually that weak and frail, the women would have to be covered from head to toe when they do go out to protect the men from lusting after them.

Some groups are close to making such requirements, but seem to realize the ridiculousness of going as far as the Muslim men do. Interestingly, these restrictive laws do not prevent Muslim men from attacking and raping women. True to form, the men cannot hold the weak rapist accountable, so they hold the woman accountable and kill her even though she was always covered from head to toe and always had the proper male escort when she left the house.

The companion reason for blaming the women-to-work movement, is that too many women stray from their husbands to commit adultery with a man in the work place. Tellingly, the “blame the women’s movement” crowd blames the wife when her husband strays, because according to them it is her responsibility to keep his pants up. But when the wife commits adultery, or has an affair of the heart, her husband does not get blamed for failing to meet his wife’s needs. Instead the wife gets blamed again.

Could it be that the real problem is that the wrong person is held accountable for sin? If the wife is held accountable for her husband’s sin as well as for her own, doesn’t that encourage husbands to sin, since there is no punishment nor accountability for men? If husbands become used to freedom to sin without being held accountable, isn’t it likely that just like with leaven, the sin will grow until it overtakes the man and his whole life is ruled by the evil one, until he destroys his family?

So then who or what is responsible for the destruction of the family? Isn’t it those who claim wives are responsible for the sins of their husbands? Isn’t it those who claim a husband is to control his family, but when he sins, his wife is to blame? If a wife is to be accountable for her husband’s sin, she would have to control him. But this is not allowed to wives. They are to SUBMIT, not control.

This leads us to the next cause of the break down of the family.


Waneta Dawn is the author of "Behind the Hedge, A novel,"a story about a woman who grapples with her husband's demands that she submit--no matter what. Please visit www.wanetadawn.com