Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Some Men Get It

Several hundred men at the University of Missouri-Kansas City walked a mile in heels to make a statement against rape and sexual assault. http://www.kmbc.com/news/21072643/detail.html. Granted, they are making a statement to their peers and to show support to women, not beating up rapists or helping an abused woman find housing, but it is more than many Christian “leaders” like John Piper or Bruce Ware would do. Perhaps Mark Driscoll, who loves the dramatic, should wear pumps when he preaches, so he could walk a mile in women’s footwear and learn to respect them.

Speaking of walking in someone else’s shoes, Piper, Ware, Driscoll, and others with abused-wives-must-endure rhetoric, should do a spouse swap with the wives they blame or refuse to defend. The abused wives and their children would live with one of the preacher’s wives, and the preacher would live with the abusive husband. The husband who uses “verbal unkindness” against his wife, should treat the preacher to frequent daily doses of verbal dumping, and meanwhile the wife and children could have a few weeks of blissful peace apart from their dictator. Perhaps after 2 miserable weeks walking in the shoes of abused wives, the preachers would change the lyrics and sing a different tune.

Waneta Dawn is the author of "Behind the Hedge, A novel,"a story about a woman who grapples with her husband's demands that she submit--no matter what. Please visit www.wanetadawn.com


  1. I agree, although I would add another requirement. The preacher would have to submit to the husband in the same way the preacher requires the wife to submit, taking on the responsibility for the husbands behavior.

    I have seen verbally abusive men react negatively when they observe other verbally abusive men interact with a spouse. They do not see or connect their own behavior as being the same as the other abusive man. I think one reason must come from the place of entitlement they take.

  2. Songofsongs,
    I like the way you think. Perhaps if the preacher submits to abuse, just like he commanded the wife to do, and if he takes responsibility for the husband's behavior, perhaps he will change his tune from the grating one he now sings, to one with a lilting melody that offers mercy, compassion and help to abused wives.

    I, too, have seen abusers condemn other abusers, yet deny the log in their own eye. You are right, somehow they think they are justified and entitled to treat their wife and children that way. There are also some abusers who think other abusers are doing the right thing, that all men MUST do whatever it takes to make "the wife" stay in her servant-class place.