II Timothy 4:3-4 NIV “For the time will come when men will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear. They will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths.”
Many “Christian” husbands live in rebellion against God and as their father, Satan, did before them, they have conspired to overturn God’s rule and authority, and have taken that authority for themselves. They have refused God’s instruction of what a husband is to be and how he is to behave, and have replaced God’s directions with a counterfeit. Adding insult to injury, they have usurped authority over God and imposed upon their WIVES the very commandment God gave to HUSBANDS. Many of them tell their wives that they are in rebellion against God when they do not obey their husband’s commands, but that very statement demonstrates the husband’s own rebellion against God. It also demonstrates his heart of hatred and violence toward his wife, and domestic violence is the outcome.
Ephesians 5:21 says the husband is “the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church” and 5:25 tells these husband-heads what behavior and attitude they are to have toward their wives. They are to “love your wives even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it.”
Christian husbands are to give up themselves for their wives. This is totally opposite to the notion or edict that husbands are to rule their wives, or that wives are to give themselves up for their husbands. Males with itching ears have rewritten biblical teaching, and imposed upon their wives obedience to Satanical husband demands in place of submission, and also imposed upon their wives the loving sacrificial role of “head”—the very commandment that is given to husbands! To these husbands Ephesians 5:25-31 says:
Wives, love your husbands, even as Christ also loved the church and gave himself for it; that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought women to love their husbands as their own bodies. She that loveth her husband loveth herself. For no woman ever yet hated her own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a woman leave her father and mother, and shall be joined unto her husband, and they two shall become one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love her husband even as herself; and the husband see that he rule his wife..
Looking at the reversed passage, these “Christian” men expect WIVES to give themselves up for their husbands, to compliment them and build them up, even if they don’t deserve it. Christian wives are expected to nourish and cherish their husbands, and most of them do exactly that. These “Christian” husbands frequently become controlling and abusive and isolate their wives from their parents and siblings. So while the husbands can freely go to their parents at any time, they expect their wives to leave their fathers and mothers and only focus on their husband’s concerns.
It is no wonder the world scorns Christians! Nor is it any wonder the divorce rate in churches is so high. It is high time the church stops trying to treat the symptom—divorce—and starts to treat the cause—male rebellion against God and male conspiracy against women. When husbands submit their hearts to God, and love their wives as Christ loved the church, the divorce rate will drop, marriages, wives, and children will thrive, and churches will grow in both depth and numbers.
Waneta Dawn is the author of "Behind the Hedge, A novel,"a story about a woman who grapples with her husband's demands that she submit--no matter what. Please visit www.wanetadawn.com
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Good words, Waneta. The problem with the authority-submission paradigm is that it gives husbands (who are fallible, sin-prone humans just like anyone else) a free pass, without accountability, to have their own way exclusively. The wife is not permitted to stand up for herself or hold him accountable to show Christian character-- and the church treats the man as sovereign in his own home and doesn't intervene until things have already escalated past the point of no return (at which point they usually blame the wife, because she's the one who can't take it anymore and wants out). Why would the husband want out? He's getting the deal of a lifetime-- spoiled rotten, waited on, his every word treated as the voice of authority-- and power corrupts.
ReplyDeleteFurther, the wife, in not being allowed to remind him that he's supposed to be laying down his own life (including his selfish desires) for her, in not saying anything against the selfish behavior and attitudes she is taught to encourage, is not acting as the "ezer kenego" (corresponding-to-him strong help) God designed her to be. Instead she is his enabler, encouraging him in selfishness without understanding why he keeps getting worse and worse.
The result is as you say-- she gives everything, he gives nothing. It doesn't always work out this way (if the man is self-disciplined enough to follow the Scriptures himself and not allow himself to be spoiled rotten), but most of the time, we humans need someone holding us accountable. Husbands just like everyone else.