Saturday, August 7, 2010

The Silent Plea of Complementarians & CBMW

I confess, I have been so wrapped up in my own research of submission tyranny that I completely missed an important detail, and I have failed to submit properly. I apologize for being so blind to this fact that has been right in front of my face all along. Yet this opens exciting possibilities that could put a stop to the war between the sexes.

Women, the complementarian, CBMW-type men in our lives claim to be Bible-believing Christians, who follow the plain reading of scripture, correct? They obey the scripture to the best of their ability. The problem is us, women. We have failed to “listen” to what they are trying to tell us.

For centuries Christian men have been trying to tell us that they want to be subjugated, and now the CBMW has been making this ever more clear with their Danver's statement. That is right. Complementarian MEN want to be SUBJUGATED. I don't know what I was thinking, why I didn't see the signs before. I was listening to what they said with their mouths instead of to what they said with their actions. I totally forgot that actions carry much more weight than words. That is why pastors do not offer help to abused women who come to them for help; they are hoping the women will turn the tables and CONTROL their husbands.

You'd be surprised how I figured this out. It's the rule of the Golden Rule:
“Therefore, all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets.” Matt 7:12
“And as ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise.” Luke 6:31

These men who “live according to the scriptures” are telling us by their actions that they want WOMEN to make the final decisions, that they want WOMEN to be the leaders, that they want WOMEN to put men in subjection to women, that they want WOMEN to take AUTHORITY OVER MEN.

Think of it, they are doing to women what they secretly want women to do to them. They want to be dominated by women. They want women to be the preachers and teachers. Some of them want women to beat them, chew them out, denigrate them, call them horrid names.

The problem is, since I don't want men to subjugate me, I don't want to subjugate them lest they get the wrong idea. But perhaps I could find a way to tickle their fancy without actually subjugating them. Perhaps I could order them around three days a week, (although many of them complain about women acting as ditches--except the first letter is b--three days a month.)

Women, we need to develop our skills at keeping men, especially husbands, under our spiked heels without actually subjugating them. This apparently is much closer to what they want.

Waneta Dawn is the author of "Behind the Hedge, A novel" See A Mennonite woman fights to save her family yet keep her faith.


  1. Yeah, I thought of this before, Waneta. I just wasn't smart enough to make a blog post about it.

    I'm married to a good man with a bad disorder (Adult ADHD). He means well most of the time but has some really bad moments.

    Back when he was a preacher and loved Jesus, he was having a bad moment, and I told him, point blank, "You cannot tell me that the way you are treating me is the way you want to be treated."

    "Yes it is," he said with a whole lot less conviction than what he started with.
    He wouldn't admit it at the time, but that one comment took the stream right out of what he thought he was entitled to do, as the man of the house.
    Because you see, unlike CBMW and Comp men, my husband, even on a bad day with his disorder, is intellectually honest with me and himself.

    He knows that the Golden Rule spoken by Jesus has far more weight and value than if you take the danver's statement, cast it in gold and silver and multipy it by a thousand.

    If you take this golden danver's X1000 and put in the balances (scales), opposite the Golden Rule uttered by Jesus, the danver's will go up because it is vanities and chasing after wind.

    The Golden Rule is what should be ruling our hearts, not the vanity of the danver's.
    The danver's is chasing after wind.

    The sooner men figure this one out and disgard that piece of trash, the better the churches witness will be in the world.


    But I'm tired of men taking things that matter and putting them below things that don't then slapping the term 'biblical' on it as though that will make it all better.

  2. Great way of putting it, Mara! Real weight vs wind. Aren't you the one who at times brings up the Golden Rule in your comments?

    The Bible is full of commands to not lord it over others, to not mistreat others, to be kind and considerate to others, yet in their minds, the husband authority rule out-weighs them all. Won't they be surprised when they find out the words of Jesus and the commands of God far outweigh their false God of husband and male authority! "Chasing after wind" is right on target.

    Could we say they are "breaking wind?" I think of the jingle "let your air pass free where-ever you be," and it reminds me of them. They inflict their stench on everyone, claiming it is the healthy way, and seem to enjoy how noxious and obnoxious it is to others.

    Cynthia Kunsman points out how slapping the term "biblical" on statements is used as a thought-stopper. Never mind the fact that they have to show/reason that verses mean what they don't in order to get them to say what they want them to say. And so many of their followers call this the "plain reading of scripture."

  3. Several years back (@2004) when a mission board sent us for marriage counseling, the Christian counselor pointed out to me a phenomenon which he called "deflection". I have also heard it called "projection". That is where my husband would take his sins and accuse me of them. Prior to that, believing his judgments, I was virtually completely tongue tied in church because I believed his judgments that I was unsubmissive and that the use of my tongue in church violated "women be silent".

    I am even willing to admit that perhaps I had some really tiny splinters... upon which I focused constantly, striving in vain to improve; thereby being unaware and neglectful of my own LOGS! But he had logs when it came to SUBMISSION (to God, His Word, and authorities in his working life) and his TONGUE (the misuse of which lost him jobs and hurt deeply all of the ones he professed to love)

  4. Go figure. Your logic is impeccable Waneta. Thanks for the insight.

  5. Breaking wind.

    Sowing to the wind.

    Don't they know that when they sow to the wind, they reap the whirlwind.

    And this is what their teaching is doing in the lives of families, men, women, and children.
    The fall-out is ridiculous. Yet they turn a blind eye.

    But I believe the demand for apology from CBMW is one good attempt to bring it to their door. To make them face the whirlwind they have created.