Your arguments are the extreme opposite of "wives submit to your husbands." You want husbands to completely submit to their wives. When, in actuality, if people stop being feminist and read the text for what it is, you realize that both are supposed to happen. Wives are supposed to give their husbands leadership over the family (examples would be allow him to make big decisions for the family WHILE STILL making her opinion known, trusting him to lead the family spiritually just like Jesus leads us) and the husband is supposed to give himself up for the wife (examples would be putting her first in his life under God and serving her in this way). I am a woman myself and completely rebuke the feminist ideas because they are not biblical. Instead of getting offended that your husband is supposed to lead you and your family, accept it as a wonderful gift from God and a blessing and act of servitude from your husband as he does his absolute best to make sure the best comes for your and your children.
The only truthful statement in this entire comment is: “…both are supposed to happen.” Rose got that part right. Both husband and wife are to submit to one another. This blog is focused on the tyranny of one-way submission that is taught by so many who claim to be Christians. Although complementarian preachers may tell husbands to love their wives, when the preachers are asked to deal with unloving husbands, they blame the wives instead. Basically then, their teaching about husbands loving their wives self-sacrificially is meaningless, and husbands know this. Wives find out about it when they go to their pastors for help after being abused--usually for a long time--by their husbands.
The rest of Rose’s comments are based on falsehood. “You want husbands to completely submit to their wives.” Although this statement is true, I do believe it is biblical for husbands to completely submit to their wives, that is not what Rose meant. From the context it is clear that she meant to say that I think ONLY husbands are to completely submit to their spouses. I never said that, nor do I believe it, and no egalitarian or Evangelical Feminist believes that, either.
The next false statements are: “if people stop being feminist and read the text for what it is…” and “Wives are supposed to give their husbands leadership over the family…” If one reads the text for what it is, one finds that husbands are NEVER told to lead their wives, and wives are never told to give their husbands leadership over the family. Never. In fact, when one checks the concordance for “guide” in I Tim. 5:14, one finds the translators chose the wrong word. They should have chosen “rule.” Paul was telling young women to get married, bear children, and RULE their homes. They were to be the “head of the house.” Husbands are never told to do that. If wives are told to rule their households, why would they "give" that rulership to someone else? Those who are church leaders are to manage their children, but nothing is ever said about husbands, even those who are church leaders, managing their wives. Rose, you need to read the text for what it is. You don’t even have to be a feminist to see the truth that is there.
Rose also says: “Instead of getting offended that your husband is supposed to lead you and your family, accept it as a wonderful gift from God and a blessing and act of servitude from your husband as he does his absolute best to make sure the best comes for your and your children.”
Rose, I am not offended when a husband practices loving self-sacrifice as he is commanded. But I have one leader, Jesus, and I reject any others. When a man—even one who is my husband—attempts to take the place of Jesus in my life, I will—rightfully—get very offended. I will be offended that he is practicing exactly what Jesus told him not to do, lord it over me, and that he is trying to convince me to agree with his twisting of scripture. I refuse to live by his scripture-twisted rules. As Paul stated in Galatians 2:5, I will not yield to him, I will not be put in bondage, no, not for an hour, because that would subvert the truth of the gospel.
The Bible DOES say, “Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God,” and then shows how that is done. Wives, by submitting to their husbands, and husbands by loving their wives self-sacrificially. Nothing, absolutely NOTHING, is said about husbands ruling or leading, being the authority over their wives, making the final decisions, nor about wives giving their husbands those privileges or entitlements. All those directives are entirely MAN-made doctrine.
And that man-made doctrine has the very damaging side-effect of CAUSING domestic abuse and domestic violence. It harms everyone it touches, including Rose.
Waneta Dawn is the author of "Behind the Hedge," a novel about a wife who discovers traditional marriage advice doesn't always work. See www.wanetadawn.com
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"Instead of getting offended that your husband is supposed to lead you and your family, accept it as a wonderful gift from God and a blessing and act of servitude from your husband as he does his absolute best to make sure the best comes for your and your children."
ReplyDeleteThat is the most fanciful piece of fiction I have ever read! It's a complete oxymoron.
A husband who loves like Jesus and lives as Jesus did will encourage his wife to seek the Lord alongside him, and will value the work of God through his ezer> A righteous man would not dream of making decisions for the family apart from unity with his fellow disciple and ally.
A man who thinks that he, rather than Jesus, is to "lead" his family, is not walking in love, humility or even reality. Because the "his absolute best" is filthy rags. (Isaiah 64:6)
If he was truly walking with Jesus, he would know this as reality.
He would humbly seek to be in unity with his fellow disciple who is also Spirit-filled. (Acts 2:17, 18 "and daughters", "and women"- equally Spirit filled, equally called to prophesy) And not just any fellow disciple, but the one woman with whom he committed to live in Christian love- submit to one another, love one another, forgive one another, encourage one another, accept one another, learn from one another. (Ephesians 5:21, John 13:35, Colossians 3:13, I Thessalonians 5:11, Romans 15:7, I Corinthians 14:31)
Any man taking upon himself the responsibility of doing his absolute best to lead his family has been deceived by false teaching that appeals to sinful pride. Rather, he should refuse to usurp authority over anyone and actually be willing to be like a slave! (Matthew 20:25-27, Matthew 10:42-44, Luke 22: 24-27)
Supposedly that is what "feminists" want for men- that they should be treated like slaves (though I've never met a single woman who called for that, only heard preachers accuse women of calling for men to live as slaves).
Yet here is Jesus saying that righteous people who want to truly honor God SHOULD WILLINGLY LIVE AS SLAVES!
I assume that married men would be among those righteous people who want to truly honor God...
"A righteous man would not dream of making decisions for the family apart from unity with his fellow disciple and ally."
ReplyDeleteWell said, Shadowspring!
I, too, do not ask husbands to live as slaves, even though that is what they require of women. Yet, that IS what Jesus asks of us.
Luke 22:24-27 "And there was also a strife among them, which of them should be accounted the greatest. And he said unto them, The kings of the Gentiles exercise lordship over them; and they that exercise authority upon them are called benefactors. But ye shall not be so: but he that is greatest among you, let him be as the younger; and he that is chief, as he that doth serve...I am among you as he that serveth."
Husbands are told to love and sacrifice as Jesus did. Jesus was among us as a servant. THAT is the example husbands are specifically told to follow--not lordship or authority over their wives.
Husbands are also told to do the same when Jesus instructs everyone to be a servant. Yes, wives are to be servants, too, but husbands are specifically told to be servants TO THEIR WIVES.
You are so on target, Shadowspring!
Waneta, just wanted you to know that you are a rare [among a few] voice out here today and that I and many of us who know what the pain is,
ReplyDeleteappreciate you. I want to thank you, personally, for not just using this reality that so many endure as just a means of ambition or profit,
thank you. Because it Does mean a lot and it Does show that yes Jesus is out there and does CARE,
that it's not just a 'topic' of the day.
For that, I love you, just know that.
Love,
Jane
Thank-you, Jane, although I don't know that I deserve it. It is true God HAS given me a driving passion to fight domestic abuse, domestic violence, and the scripture abuse that is the root of dv among Christians. But to say I do not do it for profit is not quite true.
ReplyDelete1. I do want my novel(s) to sell. But that is a mixed motivation. (I actually feel troubled at times about the mixed motivation.) To me, sales are about making some money so I can spend less time doing other work for a living and more time fighting this awful injustice that male leaders have perpetrated on women (and many women have joined the men in oppressing women through doctrine).
2. I also hope for huge sales because I would like to start an organization that helps women who otherwise cannot leave their abusers. My dream is to have enough capital through the sales of my books that I can commit to paying for the living expenses of women who need to get to a safe place. I especially think of those who have many children, no work experience, and no viable way to support themselves, and also those whose health will not allow them to make a living wage. At this point, this is a pipe dream. Perhaps if I put aside other chores and wrote another 5-7 books, sales would pick up and I could realize my dream. Meanwhile, I blog to make a difference.
3. I also write for the "profit" of equality and justice for women. That includes my daughter and myself, as well as Christian women and non-Christian women all over the world.
You are right, Jane, I do CARE. Deeply.
And so do you. God gave me this one passion, but to you He gave a passion concerning the bigger, world-wide condition of women. And where is your profit? It is obvious in your writing that you also care very deeply, and have battled your way through the darkness.
Although what you've written recently indicates you are in a season of light, I should alert you that often recovery happens in a spiral, always moving toward healing, but still having seasons of darkness and light. This is normal. If you find yourself in a dark season again, do not be afraid. Just reach for God's hand and ask Him to hang on tight. He will.
Actually, it is God who is so amazing. He has given you and me as well as others the passion to fight for what is right. To search the scriptures, and to see God's heart toward women and share it with the world. If God hadn't chosen individuals to carry on the work, we'd still have about 3 choices for careers: household servant, governess, volunteer, or wife, with none of them paying much more than "pin money."
You know God got onto me about judging people with the whole profit thing, well not judging people but making Generalized statements about ministries, because one,
ReplyDeleteone has to pay publishing costs, etc...like for books, they don't come free.
So I had to Repent of that, and well, yes there is a profit Industry that does exploit the misery, both in religion and in secular, e.g. what we term for example the poverty industry, it's one of the worst,
at the same time, it is wrong to Lump all into that segment, why non-profits do struggle with fund raising because of the corruption, etc.
It is one of those 'ethical' questions and/or areas that kind of falls into the Gray zone, like I dealt with it when I had contemplated started a coop of women in textiles, and I was going to do artwork/embroidery of women from other nations and that monies was to go to NGOs yet at the same time I wanted to make income to pay my student loans...
but Then I started to question the ethics, of if the suffering of women should be the basis of my profit, etc., [the loans part] and I really wrestled with this one, because I was covering issues such as rape, war, etc., so like I had to then wonder, am I just re-raping them all over again...and it was hard, like,
it's a catch 22, you NEED money to Do anything to help, and you want to bring attention to the issue, at the Same time it is a type of re-exploitation--but IF we don't cover/reach out then the exploitation remains invisible and they still don't get help,
so it's NOT an easy task to deal with, so what I did was decide, for the art that portrayed women I would use that only for them, for the loans I would do other art...same goes for God's Word, so like that is how I kind of settled that, but I haven't pursued that yet, due to interference and well it might not be what God is directing, still in dark about that one.
And then God brought me to something Paul said, that some preach the Gospel for Love and other's for strife/vain glory [or profit] and yet, the good news is that the Gospel is preached,
and so, on that note, I then knew, that the enemy use just about anything, in the negative, to get us to either not give or not support or not work, using any excuse and his weeds, so to speak, and we can either Focus our 'eye' on that and be negative OR
we can focus our 'eye' on the Good and work and rejoice in those things,
so the latter is what I decided to do. I am finding it takes discipline and training to train the 'eye' to look/focus/and think on the good, and while we don't deny the corrupt, to leave it in God's hands and stay focused and work,
and I did think about you, God put it on my heart weeks ago that something I wrote about ministries and profit put condemnation on you and for that I am sorry, I never thought that about you, when I have used that analogy I am focusing on larger ministries and well,
that is one reason I don't like use names of ministries, but--it's still one of those areas that God said, don't do this,
so I won't anymore. And He has been showing me other things too that are not good, that don't edify, it's hard, to want to address wrongs, but I am finding that I lack wisdom on this--and besides,
I really got things in my own life/self that need some dire improvement-change so I am focusing on that now.
Just know I love you...
and I will agree in prayer for your book to be sold and I think your ideas are awesome--and they Are so needed...so I support you, all the way.
Love,
Jane
Waneta--
ReplyDeleteWell said!!!
We all should remember what gets written and passed is the opinion of the winner. The Jewish community which wrote our OT was convinced me should rule and told it as if it came directly from God.
Please note: There is NO "husband rules" law in the 10 Commandments.
Also please note: Jesus gave women a place of equality in his followers which is undeniable. Paul and Peter tried to slant it toward men, but that was not Jesus' words!!!
My final observation is that who stood at the foot of the cross all the way to the end--1 man / 2 women PLUS 3 women went to the tomb while the men all stayed safely at the house.
I think the facts stand for themself--dispite the attempted distortions of male society!!!!
"...and I did think about you, God put it on my heart weeks ago that something I wrote about ministries and profit put condemnation on you and for that I am sorry, I never thought that about you, when I have used that analogy I am focusing on larger ministries and well..."
ReplyDeleteJane,
I accept your apology. I appreciate the inner battle you have been dealing with. Some of the thoughts/motives I have experienced have brought this issue to my mind as well, so I am in agreement with you. It is very important to me to NOT do the work for self-glory, to live high on the hog, or other oppressive, non-God-glorifying motivations.
During the time I was writing Behind the Hedge, my thinking was 100% to make a difference. Once the book was written, my thoughts had to turn to marketing, how to get the book to readers, and how to recoup the money I had invested in the project. If my "real" job was making enough money, I could perpetually give books away and consider the whole thing an out-of-pocket ministry. But I do not have the capital to do that. In fact, my natural inclination is to just give books away, and now, due to funds getting low, I have to stop myself, except in cases where a woman is in need and wants a copy enough to ask for one.
Yet, considering how my thoughts have turned from 100% making a difference to part making a difference and part regaining funds and making an income, I wonder how I would handle it if my book had become a best seller. I THINK I would use the funds to devote my time to the ministry, taking out a similar amount of income to what I currently live on, and use the remainder to offer women financial help over a sustained period of time. Although I know it is scriptural for a laborer to be worthy of her hire, I still wonder if I would have difficulty handling money and keeping my priorities and motives straight.
You have brought up a point that I am very concerned about for my own ministry.
I still have not decided that I can support a ministry when I see sin in the life of that ministry leader. There is one ministry in particular whose cause I would dearly love to support. But when I heard how he treated his wife, I could not support his ministry. In addition, the flyers his ministry sends out are on the most expensive paper--thick and glossy--and he spends alot of $ on TV infomertials. My own values do not allow me to send money to a ministry that would use so little of it for those in need, and so much of it in looking good through advertising. I have no idea how much the man siphons off for his own living expenses, but I would guess he and his family live on substantially more than I live on.
My prayer is that God would show me another way to minister to those people who He has laid on my heart. So far, I can pray.
Perhaps God doesn't open another avenue to sending money to those people, because the ministry I currently have is already taking everything I can set aside for "charity." (I do NOT care for that word in this case. It is actually a care ministry, not an act of tossing money at a beggar as "charity" implies.)
"Please note: There is NO "husband rules" law in the 10 Commandments."
ReplyDeleteGene,
There is also no "husband rules" law in ANY of the OT or the NT, with the exception of a decree by a Gentile king who divorced his wife for refusing to display herself to a banquet hall full of drunken men. The context indicates both the king and his advisors were out of line, even though most men DID rule their wives.
[two part reply]
ReplyDelete"But I do not have the capital to do that. In fact, my natural inclination is to just give books away, and now, due to funds getting low, I have to stop myself, except in cases where a woman is in need and wants a copy enough to ask for one.
Yet, considering how my thoughts have turned from 100% making a difference to part making a difference and part regaining funds and making an income, I wonder how I would handle it if my book had become a best seller. I THINK I would use the funds to devote my time to the ministry, taking out a similar amount of income to what I currently live on, and use the remainder to offer women financial help over a sustained period of time. Although I know it is scriptural for a laborer to be worthy of her hire, I still wonder if I would have difficulty handling money and keeping my priorities and motives straight."
you know Waneta I hear a lot of condemnation in your writing voice and I don't think it's from God, is is possible, that there is still some transference of the 'false guilt' from the past abuse? The reason I ask this is because I think it is very Difficult for Women who have lived for years under patriarchy and religious indoctrination even if slight--those internalization's, to deal with success and especially in career, labor, etc. So like men deal with this too,
but I think for women we deal with it in a much deeper way, and not just due to Christian patriarchy but in our whole society so like we tend to 'police' ourselves more, which is a good thing, but it can also be hesitation/which is really fear.
I think Satan uses this against women a lot, especially when they are helping other Women. And you are right, correct, it really Does have a lot to do in this economical system with the level of Capital that one has, and that in of itself in a Patriarchal [capitalist] system that is based on a very Misogynist AND racism hierarchy, really impacts women more than men,
this IS one reason why I am very wary of big time ministries, because like with any power there does tend to be this area of where eventually it comes down to compromising principle/ and even soul for power/capital--On the other hand however,
Realistically one can't really help much with no base of resources, including capital, etc., so it really is one of those Gray areas that I think one just has to really lean on God's will and understanding,
like with the [this just came to mind] parable about the talents,
two men multiplied and one did not Because of fear--so like yea, I think, you know,
you are doing this work out of Love, and that is what counts. And you know, WE ARE GOING TO MAKE MISTAKES, all there is to it,
I think, what Jesus cares about is that we just Love and do it, mistakes and all,
rather than hesitate and do nothing. WE can police ourselves to the point where we hide the candle under the bed--and a candle under the bed will eventually go out--because it's not getting enough air.
So yea, I think the enemy does use guilt on women especially to get them to just not do anything, and sure, he uses those corrupt to do just that--to get us to get our eyes on the corruption and to just not do nothing,
I have seen this work in helping through charitable foundations, sure there are numerous that either don't help or that if they do, the governments steal, and all that,
at the same time, for 50 that are corrupt, there could be 10 who are not, and so like IF we just stop giving, then that only makes it where the corrupt have total ownership. And then no one gets help...
you know it's too long and I hate dealing with the word limit, so I will post it on my blog, about how I discern which relief orgs to give to, there is some good advise so,
ReplyDeletecheck it out.
Love,
Jane
Waneta--
ReplyDeleteYou are reading the Scriptures accurately. Too many of our current preachers are reading it as they want it to be!
Keep up the good work. I am getting your book into some "right hands." It is not jumping as I could wish, but I am confident your "truth telling" is going to make a dent in the hard heads of abusive male society in America these days.
I just want you to know that when my wife read your book her comment was, "She has described our son-in-law to a T!"
In that respect, we are seeing marvelous and positive changes in our grandsons (4). Had our daughter not had the courage to say NO to abuse, her situation would only be worse instead of improved.
I, as a man, want to tell your readers to stick with their convictions that when their ego is bruised, it is not something which is acceptable to our God of love and respect for women.
Leave that abuser and find happiness and joy in a God of love--and a life of not being abused!!!
Jane,
ReplyDeleteI am mulling over whether I still am dealing with guilt about being a successful female. I don't think that is so much an issue in this case (although it may be in other areas--like every time I read Romans 12: 1-2.) In this case, I worked with a woman who SAID she was writing to help others, but her comments and attitudes showed she was actually writing to show others she could write a book, to prove that she is important, perhaps even MORE important than them--in other words, for the wrong reason, and it was so distasteful.
Also, I have heard that success, fame and wealth are MUCH more difficult to handle in a godly way than poverty. We tend to get big heads, whether male or female. Some folks get snobbish and exclusive, while others get mean. We all tend to want even more than we have, etc. and/or to think we are better than/more important than others. I have tried to set a guard on my heart to not go there.
To clarify: I do want my book(s) to be successful and my blog to be influential. But I do NOT want to be so famous that reporters start showing up at my door and snapping pictures of me when I'm shopping or at the beach. I want to be able to be there for the individuals who need help. I think of the experience of nurses who get promoted to "head nurse" and then miss the one-on-one service to others that drew them into the field in the first place.
On the other hand, what if some inner quality--say guilt--is keeping me from promoting my book in the most effective way? what if my upbringing to make positively SURE I do not exaggerate or misinform in any way, is preventing me from saying things the way the public needs to hear them in order to see the book as the wonderful read it is? (I confess, I still get caught up in the story when I read it--as if I never read it before. It is really strange.) Or is the whole thing my own distaste when others brag on themselves and you can tell by their bragging that at least half to 3/4 of what they say is likely false?
"Too many of our current preachers are reading it as they want it to be!"
ReplyDeleteThanks, Gene! I like your way of putting it. It also says a lot about those preachers.
My question: if they want it that way--that they are the absolute authority--does the love of Christ dwell in them? I look at the many supposedly decent men who feel they are not real men unless they are in charge. Some of them even seem loving. But is it real love when one is unhappy if he is not allowed to rule the life of his wife? I think of the child-like state those wives are kept in.
It seems to me a man would want an equal partner, not a child who has no wisdom to help with making decisions. Isn't keeping her a child similar to foot-binding? Both are aimed at keeping women small and unable to help themselves.
Waneta--
ReplyDeleteGreat questions!!!
I look at it this way: Why would God choose a Virgin to bring his only Son into this world?
If he is God, he didn't need any human to accomplish his purposes---BUT he chose a woman to be the vessel to bring about the most important event in human history!!!!
On top of that Jesus, God's Son, honored women and gave them a place in a Jewish world which put women down.
THEN, on top of that, the women were the ones who showed enough courage to go to the empty tomb on Ressurection Day!
For many a year since 1970 I have pastored Baptist churches. Without women assuming the real working duties, no church I have known would have survived!
I, for one Pastor, know what women do and how much the life of the church (of any denomination) depends on their presence!!!
I thank God for your stand for women and your insights into what you have falsely been put through--thanks to a male dominated religious scene!
"I look at it this way: Why would God choose a Virgin to bring his only Son into this world?
ReplyDeleteIf he is God, he didn't need any human to accomplish his purposes---BUT he chose a woman to be the vessel to bring about the most important event in human history!!!!
On top of that Jesus, God's Son, honored women and gave them a place in a Jewish world which put women down.
THEN, on top of that, the women were the ones who showed enough courage to go to the empty tomb on Ressurection Day!"
Great points, Gene! Jesus could have come to this earth fully formed and without having a mother, yet the triune God chose to honor women again and again. Not once did Jesus tell a woman to get back in the kitchen. In fact, I've often wondered what type of meal Mary and Martha eventually had when Jesus was there. If we really leave the cooking and cleaning until later, does later ever get here? (Later finally arrived at my house, and it is taking a long, long time to catch up.) Jesus made it clear that Martha, too, could leave the serving and sit with Jesus. But I still wonder, when will the work get done if we all sit at Jesus's feet? Yet, Jesus wants that intimate relationship with each of us. Sometimes I suspect He is partial to women, because women are able to connect on a deeper level than most men are--at least men in the USA, that is.
Waneta--
ReplyDeleteGuess what---our NC State Baptist Paper, The Biblical Recorder, just ran a link to the wonderful meeting women had in Orlanda to stand against the Danvers statement on biblical manhood. It cites the Baptist reaction and a hope it will make a difference in outlook:
http://www.abpnews.com/content/view/5370/53/
The above will get it for you and the readers.
I applaude your courage and the accuracy of what the Statement said. I hope it gets results, but the hard-headed and hard-hearted fundies running the SBC seem to listen to no one--especially the sweet voices of women wanting to be treated with civility and honor.
Gene,
ReplyDeleteWe of the coalition have been watching that site. I just left a comment on the second article today, Aug 7. So many of the commenters on that site are clearly abusive to their wives. And they don't have a clue that they are putting their abusiveness out there for all to see. They think it is hidden or justified. I feel so sorry for their wives.
I hope those abusive husbands are arrogant enough to show the whole article complete with comments to their wives, and that the wives will begin to open their eyes to the truth.
A thimbleful at a time is all a brainwashed abused woman may be able to handle. But I pray eventually she'll get the whole picture.
Also http://christianthinktank.com/not2obey.html made me rethink a lot that has been taught. We have to look into what went behind teachings to a certain group than to others.
ReplyDeleteI remember in church I used to read past what the pastor was preaching about (kid at the time)and I read how husbands are supposed to treat wives the way wives are supposed to treat husbands. Just say this was a shock to me as all I heard the wives submit to their husbands all the time, but the husband was supposed to do the same. Frankly I think the Lord lead me to passage when I needed it (and didn't realize it I needed it)I used to just flip through the book and just start reading verses.
Learning about Greek and Roman household codes gives a new perspective of the scriptures. I had no idea that women were the ones who mostly accepted a new religion.
Thanks for your comment Welcome! I, too, recall reading verses during church--often not the ones the preacher was talking about, but God was talking to me through them all the same. In those days wife submission was emphasized. But in recent years they've been teaching husband authority in addition to wife-only submission. Look at the progression: at first they ignore husbands love your wives and sacrifice for them, and then they totally changed that commandment to husbands take authority over your wives. Their first actions took away from God's word, and now they are adding falsehood to God's word.
ReplyDeleteI haven't read about the household codes. But what I know of the times, it makes sense that women would welcome a gospel of equality and release from oppression--even for women. They must have seemed like feminists to their husbands. Imagine the audacity to be a woman and consider yourself equal to a man!
I checked out the website you mentioned, and thought I'd quote from it: "What is the nature of the church's submission to Christ? It is freely assumed in humble response to his self-giving, sacrificial servanthood and his continuing empowering and nurturing presence. The church's submission to Christ has nothing to do with external control or coercion. For the life and ministry of Jesus demonstrates uncompromisingly his rejection of “power over others” as valid in the new creation which he is inaugurating (Lk 22:24–27). Christ stands in relation to the church, his bride, not as one who uses his power to control and demand, but rather to invite and serve. [HSOBX: Eph.]"
The writer is so right. Our submission to Christ is based on his loving self-sacrifice for us. For the church to demand that wives submit to non-sacrificial husbands (as to the Lord) is an oxymoron. It is impossible to submit to a selfish, demanding husband as to the Lord. The first is an automatic response, and the last becomes obedience instead of submission, and is a forced response.