Sunday, March 21, 2010

An Alternative Way to Stop Domestic Abuse

Just suppose Piper, Grudem, Patterson, Ware and the rest of the Christians for Biblical Manhood and Womanhood (CBMW) are right and their way is actually the BEST way to stop domestic abuse? What if teaching husbands to take authority over their wives, and teaching wives to yield to that authority no matter what would actually stop abuse sooner than the world’s system of telling men they have no right to rule their wives/partners? The CBMW may be on to something.

Let’s follow it through. Husband commands and wife submits. Husband increases his commands and wife submits even more. Husband humiliates his wife and she bows her head in subjection to him. But in private, she cries out to God in sorrow and pain. As her husband’s demands keep increasing and the increases come closer and closer together, the wife reaches a point of desperation.

She goes to her pastor, who tells her if she would submit more, she would not be suffering such pain and anguish. He explains that it is her spirit of rebellion that is causing her distress.

She goes home and submits even more and suffers in silence for another year or two, during which time he begins to do physical abuses like pushing her, blocking her, and putting her in a headlock, but she does not realize these are physical abuse. She thinks domestic violence is limited to hitting and killing.

Gradually, she begins to realize that her husband is mistreating her and demanding more no matter what she does. She starts looking for books that describe her marriage, and before long finds that the books on domestic violence illustrate quite closely what is happening in her home. She begins reading all the information she can get her hands on and finds that her perception is correct. She is not at fault. Her submission does NOT motivate him to love her, but instead results in him demanding even more.

She secretly begins to prepare to leave her husband AND her church, and to take her children with her. But even while she does that, she still looks for a way to mend her marriage. She asks her husband to go with her to counseling. He refuses. Then she reads that going to counseling if your spouse is abusive is a very dangerous thing to do, and she is glad he refused.

She finds a friend who understands what she is experiencing, and/or finds support through the domestic violence hotline.

Her husband is getting more demanding; she knows she must leave soon, but she doesn’t have all her things in order yet. She has difficulty saving enough money and keeping it hidden. She and their children are continually reeling with the newest emotional and spiritual assault from her authority-crazed husband.

One day the attack is so bad, she knows she must leave that night. She sneaks out with the children while he is asleep, and goes to the women’s shelter. She finds a caring church that offers emotional support—and seems very liberal to her and her children.

But that does not stop the abuse. As soon as she finds a place of her own, her husband continues to abuse her in court and with every phone call and every exchange of the children. He keeps telling her that SHE is responsible for the breakup of their marriage, and that God will hold her accountable. When that doesn’t motivate her to return to him, he tries other tactics.

When the court tells him how much child support he must pay, he kills her and their children.

That stops the abuse.

And the CBMW got their successful marriage. The couple stayed married as long as they both lived. The husband as the authority got what he worked so hard for—a wife who backed away from him and finally left. And the wife did the ultimate submission—she left her home in submission to her husband’s driving her away, and then died in submission to him as well.

What a wonderful Christian testimony! What great symbolism of Christ and the church!

Waneta Dawn is the author of "Behind the Hedge, A novel,"a story about a woman who grapples with her husband's demands that she submit--no matter what. Please visit


  1. You are so spot on. Keep up your courage and never back down. Women and children's lives depend on it.

  2. Did you read that post on Hannah's site about the wife being shot by her husband during a church couseling session?
    He put an end to the domestic violence too, didn't he, with one final, all-emcompassing, act of violence to end all acts of violence against her.
    Yep, pretty final. The ultimate last stop.

    Wish to God Grudem, Piper, Patterson, and Ware would get a freaking clue.

  3. Well Waneta, it's a Great,

    Mayan and Aztec and Olmec and Baal and Marduk testimony, in fact, it's IDENTICAL!!!

    And then if you look a bit deeper, the 'goddesses' of these 'gods' , the sex/fertility combined with WAR--that demanded the blood sacrifices of virgins, children, women, slaves,

    all in the name of Fear and Submission of course,

    is astounding, the ideology is IDENTICAL, the cultic practices IDENTICAL, the Temple Processions IDENTICAL, it's amazing how few see it. Maybe an ignorance of ancient history/herstory, of days of old...

    the destruction of Samaria [once was God's land, until Israel was replaced with the tribes who worshiped these 'gods' and God sent the lions to drive them out], before the fall of Syria, before the deliverance of Israel into Babylon [Old Testament], interestingly,

    the Same time, historically, that the other 'gods/goddesses' religions, took hold in the far east...after the fall of Samaria. [in modern day Palestine]

    The temples, very similar, the practices of forcing women to bleed/to be sexual sacrifices, the cutting off of children's heads while they danced, etc., Identical--the shrines to prostitution, Identical [the purity virgin balls, lol, oh Yea], Identical,

    the worship of BAAL Waneta,

    this isn't even about Christianity--the Glory left the temple Years ago--this is the Son of Perdition,

    sitting in the temple now.

    The son of perdition, being Revealed. And the Bathory women...

    and the virgin/female blood, will flow and flow, because you see, that is what Biters/Vampires feast on, they need the 'life' of that blood--

    mammon...blood, OT, God said, do NOT make altars with steps, do NOT make unto me or yourselves gold or silver--

    oh, how we are so missing it--why Israel was delivered, Babylon,


    the son of perdition, sitting in the those who have ears, let them hear, what the Spirit, is saying

    Repent--there needs to be Repentance--we were WARNED, Jesus WARNED us, so did Paul...


  4. Thanks, Shadowspring!

    Yes, I read Hannah's piece, and that murder was in the back of my mind as I wrote this piece. Like Hannah, I, too, wonder if you or I would have seen the signs. I have a hard time believing there weren't any. He obviously went to that session with murder in mind, had thought through the details.

  5. Jane,
    You are right; there are huge similarities between the "Christian" husband authority doctrine, that ends up aiding and abetting domestic abusers, and those of other pagan peoples.

    I, too, have reached the conclusion that abusers cannot possibly be Christians. They don't bear the fruit of Christ.

    As you point out, so many of them demand death (whether a living death through total subjugation to all kinds of humiliation and abuse, or a physical death) and/or bloodshed. They also demand purity and perfection of the women, but not of the male abusers.

  6. "They also demand purity and perfection of the women, but not of the male abusers."


    do some reading on the Vestas 'virgins who guarded the temples' in Pagan Rome--they too, were Demanded, Purity and Perfection,

    here, Think, I may have it, let me check...I still have it, I saved it for the research, is male culture the Jesus culture--woo hoo,

    here ya go, do some reading [all of you], I will, go a head, and Post, a lot more on this--with Scripture, because the Insects are All over, the Temple Wall...[Jeremiah]

    MISOGYNY ROMAN EMPIRE--read here, on the Vestas

    There is a lot more--Especially, one I stumbled on [but it's on my other computer that is in repair], now get this,

    before the witchhunts of the Catholic Church, years and years prior, the Roman EMPIRE had major wide witch-hunts, under Paganism--

    so what was defined as a 'witch'? Most likely, women that they felt were not 'suitable', in other words, if you wanted to rid of a woman--just label her a witch...and the Roman Pagans did, just the Thousands,

    a bit of history, that is not well known, it was the Groundwork, the Foundational Blueprint--of the Witch hunts in Catholic & Protestant history. Found that one by accident,

    similar to how the Armenian Genocide, was Hitler's blueprint--for the Holocaust.

    Follow the BLOOD trail--and the MONEY trail, you'd be amazed.

    They are not only Identical Waneta--they are THE SAME, ONE AND THE SAME.

    [caps for emphasis]