Domestic Violence. It’s an ugly term, and the results are even uglier. Few want to admit to doing it. And those who do admit it, blame someone else for their actions. Part of the blame game is to say women do it just as much as men. Is this true? I agree some women use abuse tactics, including physical violence. But the statistics say it is women who are getting hurt and dying.
What causes individuals to degrade, threaten, rape, demand, shove, choke, control, and otherwise violate their spouses? Isn’t it that they think they have the right to have their way and to have power over another—and over one whom they claim to love, at that? Who has this belief? Women or men?
If you say women expect to have their way, what societal norms cause women to believe they have this right? Name and state the rule. Let’s see… “Women are to control the world.” Isn’t familiar to me. “Women should rule their families.” Never heard of it. “Husbands submit to your wives.” Sounds familiar, but is misquoted backward. I conclude I don’t know of any rules that give special privileges to women.
Does society have a belief system that says men should have things their way? Absolutely! The man is the “head of the house.” He’s to “wear the pants.” Women are to “submit to their husbands.” Society has lots of rules granting privilege to men, but none that bestow similar privilege upon women.
Why? The Women’s Liberation movement blames Christianity. Are they correct? Partially. The church has indeed put emphasis on wifely submission and very little on the self-sacrificial love required from husbands. Traditionally, wives have been blamed and told by pastors to submit any time there is “conflict” in the home. But is this Christianity? Absolutely not! The Bible requires that all Christians submit to one another. There is no free pass for husbands—at least not in the Bible.
So where does abuse come from if God and the Bible are not to blame? It comes from the human tendency to sin. For centuries male “Christian” leaders have emphasized Bible verses of their choice, and rushed over verses they didn’t care to obey. It was easy to focus on verses that gave them the authority and privileges they wanted and to ignore verses that directed them to submit.
The requirements of true Christianity are to “not think of (ourselves) more highly than (we) ought to think,” to “present (our) bodies a living sacrifice,” to “submit to one another,” to “build one another up,” to “be kind to one another,” and to “honor and prefer one another.” When leaders fail to teach biblical principles of mutual submission, it gives those who want to control their wives the hammer to do what it takes to enforce their authority. In effect, it gives men permission to hijack Christianity for their own ends and to terrorize their wives and children.
But why do some men who reject Christianity and have no “God-given” mandate to rule their wives choose to abuse? Ever since the fall, men have chosen to rule their wives. Adam blamed Eve for his sin, and God prophesied in Genesis 3:16 that because of his sinful nature, Adam would rule over Eve. That pattern has been here ever since, and God first implemented Judaism and then Christianity to free the oppressed and return equality to humanity. Let’s not allow the power-hungry to hijack our faith and make it into something evil.
Chronically Self-Centered Spouse Series - Nope, I'm not doing this series. Nope, Visionary Womanhood is not doing this series. But I do thank Natalie for linking to it over there a couple years back...
4 months ago