tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4315768639043874540.post5979563195214692949..comments2023-05-10T23:23:48.126-05:00Comments on Submission Tyranny, in Church and Society: Authority and Power Part 1www.wanetadawn.comhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10261516374583209123noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4315768639043874540.post-91654968154660787862012-06-13T00:16:51.475-05:002012-06-13T00:16:51.475-05:00Gene,
It sounds like your grandson's are impro...Gene,<br />It sounds like your grandson's are improving. Although they seem to understand where the real caring is coming from, I expect that understanding will result in real pain for them. Perhaps self-blame, too. Although I'm not a kid, for awhile I kept thinking if I would have done something differently, if I could just figure out what it was I needed to do or be, my husband would be kind, loving, etc. I finally realized his behavior was because of who HE is, not because of who or what I am, or because I what I have done. Although it kept hurting for quite a long time, that took the pressure off me. Your grandsons and daughter will come through with their own realizations that will help free them from the abuser's grip.Waneta Dawnhttp://www.wanetadawn.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4315768639043874540.post-4754490184569737532012-06-12T23:59:16.563-05:002012-06-12T23:59:16.563-05:00Mara,
thanks for caring. I suddenly realized if I...Mara,<br />thanks for caring. I suddenly realized if I didn't stop blogging for awhile, I would not be able to meet a series of deadlines. Still not "out of the woods," but the main ones are done. And now one that I thought I'd have to do, has been reduced. Yea! It's been nip and tuck, though. ~Wanetawww.wanetadawn.comhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10261516374583209123noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4315768639043874540.post-77571046914988394382011-12-04T12:25:05.823-06:002011-12-04T12:25:05.823-06:00Update on my wife and the abusive X-Son-in-Law:
J...Update on my wife and the abusive X-Son-in-Law:<br /><br />Just this weekend was to be his with his boys. He put it off to the last minute and didn't show to pick them up!<br /><br />They are learning a lesson that only life can teach = my daddy cares more about himself than us.<br /><br />As a result my wife had to stay Friday evening when she was tired an only wanted to come home to the peace of our cottage by the river. She had one of the boys (middle "nobody loves me") to come to her saying his older brother was watching movies that scared him. When he asked if he could sleep on the couch with her, he was invited to the solice that only a caring grandmother could give.<br /><br />Our daughter is having to work merciless hours at her retail store. She longs to be home with her boys, but the circumstances prevent it.<br /><br />Now---anyone who tells me a woman is "worthless and a pig" needs to have his tail whipped out behind the woodpile.<br /><br />How much the commentators above have missed by not hononoring women of compassion---is more than enough to convince me they have missed the boat on life!!!!Gene Shttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05726662612894104518noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4315768639043874540.post-68910422234215647062011-10-27T10:22:39.536-05:002011-10-27T10:22:39.536-05:00I miss you Wanneta.
Hope all is well.
Mara ReidI miss you Wanneta.<br />Hope all is well.<br />Mara ReidAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4315768639043874540.post-34209326312826061342011-08-17T18:18:40.048-05:002011-08-17T18:18:40.048-05:00Jim,
Thanks for your input!
"Learn to listen...Jim,<br />Thanks for your input!<br /><br />"Learn to listen. Love by listening. No matter how much it hurts."<br /><br />I can't repeat that enough. So often abused women are avoided, ostracized. I've concluded that part of it is that people just don't want to hear something that painful. But I also suspect that people are uncomfortable because they don't know if they should believe what she is saying. They think: surely he isn't that bad! She must be making it up. <br /><br />What they don't realize is that she isn't even sharing a quarter of what he is doing to her. She is living with far more pain than she is able to express. She doesn't even realize that the "little things" are actually giant things, and that the giant things are 10 times worse than she can currently comprehend. <br /><br />I repeat: Learn to listen. Love by listening. No matter how much it hurts.<br /><br /><br />Thanks, Jim!Waneta Dawnhttp://www.wanetadawn.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4315768639043874540.post-26468414764077519782011-08-11T21:47:26.584-05:002011-08-11T21:47:26.584-05:00Hi Waneta,
Thanks for your work on this. I work...Hi Waneta, <br /><br />Thanks for your work on this. I work in practical ways in this area: advocacy (legal), counseling, restorative-justice work in domestic violence cases. Mostly for poor and low income. Just a quick-note for you. The law is profoundly counter-intuitive and almost demonic in domestic cases. Demonic as a system. Law is demonic for battered women because the law requires testimonial evidence to secure restraining orders. Written. Oral. Or both modes of testimony. Counseling theory (some - not all) shows us that women who repeat the stories of domestic violence often suffer the feelings of abuse all over again in the re-telling. Twice abused. Or more. I get referrals by clergy to work on domestic violence cases. I sometimes speak in churches. My small bit of advice for women and men who want to love battered women: learn to be profoundly good listeners. Just listen. Listen to the stories. My private theory based on experience is that battered women who do break free from the cycle of domestic violence are women who privately rehearse their stories many times over – privately – working up the courage to tell the story in court. There are exceptions. This private process of inward story-telling can be a long – and excruciating – process of internal narrative. Or narrative to intimate friends. Because re-telling re-insults. Hifalutin theologians and preachers love to preach about narratives. There is a lot of romantic feelings about narratives. But narratives can be hell. Not all pretty. Learn to listen. Love by listening. No matter how much it hurts. ~ JimJim / Random Arrowhttp://randomarrow.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4315768639043874540.post-4168098680634806072011-08-07T01:20:27.287-05:002011-08-07T01:20:27.287-05:00Charis,
That's an interesting way to put it--g...Charis,<br />That's an interesting way to put it--giving the wife equal power, authority, and dominion. But they wouldn't call it husband authority then. <br />But your thought is similar to mine: I have no problem with submission as long as the husbands understand they are to submit, too. But not only do they tell husbands they are not required to submit, that Ephesians 5:21 and other verses like it don't aply to them, or don't apply very much, they also tell husbands they are commanded by God to take authority over their wives, even though their is no such God-given or Paul-given command in the Bible.<br /><br />Oddly, it is the husbands who are rebellious and ursurping God's authority, and who point the finger at any woman who tries to help them obey God.Waneta Dawnhttp://www.wanetadawn.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4315768639043874540.post-18312212408532105912011-08-07T01:12:00.508-05:002011-08-07T01:12:00.508-05:00Gene,
Thank-you for your perspective. Yes, women ...Gene, <br />Thank-you for your perspective. Yes, women are valuable, often they are cool calm and gentle when the men in their lives want to be hot headed. And often women get ignored in what they say, or the men claim what the woman said was the man's idea. Gene, you clearly rose above all those men! You listened to a woman and by so doing were able to salvage a bad situation. And you didnt claim the idea was yours. Sounds like your wife is one amazing woman!Waneta Dawnhttp://www.wanetadawn.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4315768639043874540.post-26268129334693943802011-08-04T14:11:00.618-05:002011-08-04T14:11:00.618-05:00A great beginning! Looking forward to the series....A great beginning! Looking forward to the series. :)<br /><br />I would have no problem with husband authority/power/dominion so long as wife has equal authority/power/dominion. "Control" does not have to be a bad thing so long as power/control is balanced within a marriage.<br /><br />Where the problem comes in is that male "control" is baptized as "good" and "godly" while female control is chastized as "rebellion" and "usurping".Charishttp://hupotasso.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4315768639043874540.post-32498772936622357752011-08-04T07:10:25.973-05:002011-08-04T07:10:25.973-05:00What a bunch of dummies!!!! How much they missed ...What a bunch of dummies!!!! How much they missed about the quality and beauty of a woman and mother of their children.<br /><br />I am blessed with an intelligent woman who is sacrificing her time to help our daughter heal from her 15-year abusive marriage. Also she is helping 4 little boys with divorce anger and grief. It has now reached the point their father declares he does not want them anymore on his weekends.<br /><br />They have all learned to hate and cuss from their experience with this man. Now they are learning to love with their "Gam" and her level head of love coaching them into a new life--both grandsons and daughter.<br /><br />I thank God for loving and caring women. A lady minister helped me greatly in a tense time of church trouble over lust and sin between an older male member and a teen who only wanted what she wanted no matter who it hurt.<br /><br />Where I was ready as the male pastor to pull the string on church discipline and advise excluding them both, my female cohort more wisely advised to encourage members to love and forgive them both. That helped solve a core issue which could have destroyed the church which was already small and rural.<br /><br />Those men above can "sit on it." They have no clue why God created women with a different outlook from men---one well worth appreciating!!!Gene Shttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05726662612894104518noreply@blogger.com